When an adult child passes away without a will or clear funeral arrangements or instructions, grief can quickly become conflict, especially for separated or estranged parents. The recent case of Freedman v. Freedman, 474 N.J. Super. 291 (App. Div. 2023), provides a new legal framework in New Jersey for resolving exactly this kind of tragic dispute.
A 20-year-old college student died suddenly in Colorado. His mother, Colleen, unilaterally arranged for cremation without even informing the father of the son’s death. She held onto the ashes and the son’s personal belongings, refusing to share them with the father.
The father filed in Family Court, and without holding a full hearing, the judge ruled in favor of the mother, citing her “closer relationship” with the son.
On appeal, the Appellate Division reversed part of the procedure, clarifying that these disputes should be brought in Probate Court, not Family Court. It also affirmed the mother’s control, based on new criteria it adopted for such cases.
The court adopted a four-part test to guide probate judges in these difficult cases where a child dies intestate (without a will):
- Who is more likely to follow the decedent’s known wishes (if any)?
- Who had a closer relationship with the decedent and can best infer their wishes?
- Who is more likely to honor the decedent’s religious or cultural traditions?
- Who will likely serve as estate administrator and act in the estate’s best interests?
In this case, the court found that the son had no written wishes or religious background, the mother had raised him and had a clearly stronger relationship, the father had been absent for years and did not pursue his parenting rights before his son’s death.
The court emphasized that long histories of parental conflict should not become the focus. Probate judges are urged to avoid protracted hearings and instead consider appointing a temporary administrator to investigate and mediate.
The Importance of Written Instructions For Funeral Arrangements
It highlights how critical it is for adults to leave simple written instructions, whether in a will, health care directive, or appointment of agent for funeral decisions.
